'Consciousness'- Garden Painting

Title:         Consciousness

Size:         80x60cm (31.5"x 24")

Medium: Oil on Canvas

About this painting: Consciousness- 'The state of being aware of & responsive to ones perception of surroundings or feelings.'

A wild tangle of flowers in tones of golden yellow, soft blues, greens,  turquoise & white ramble across the canvas bringing a feeling of relaxation & well being to a room. The tones moves from cool to warm & contrast against each other taking the eye on a journey of exploration as you lose yourself in the painting.

Painting 'Consciousness' took me to finding a deep understanding of my drive to do too much & how this was affecting my well being. As the process of painting unfolded, I found awareness & insight into what I was doing & what I needed to change.

As Christmas moved towards New Year, I was engrossed in painting the essence of this wilderness garden border, bursting with verdant growth. Golden yellow Yarrow amongst a tangle off fresh poppy seed heads & swaying Cow parsley had me sinking into a quiet & contemplative state of being.

Sinking into the meditative process of brushstrokes & buttery oil paints gave me the opportunity to become more conscious of the needs of my mind & body. A health scare had me on Dr's orders to take it easy, but little does he know that relaxing & working on my paintings is one & the same thing.

I have always been a person who charges ahead, taking on all sorts of activities & refusing to stop until I’ve completed them. Often multitasking a whole gamut of things.  I do now as much as I did when I was 20 years younger. I hate to feel limited or unable to take something on. I can’t stand the idea of not being able to do what I’ve always done. But there does come a time as we grow in experience & in years (however much we don’t want to look at it) that starting to consider what we need to stay healthy has to get prioritised.

Years ago I could drive to Spain in one sitting, loving the adventure. I could stay up all night painting, I could party & entertain & work all at once. But as we moved into Xmas break, my constantly busy juggling became an issue. My body finally said Enough!' 

I’m not going to delve into what happened, that’s not the point. The point is this painting called ‘Consciousness’ is about being aware of( especially as a woman in middle age) what we really need to be happy & healthy.
It is about finding balance, happiness & contentment & instead of feeling limited, to find a level of kindness & care for ourselves. As women, we take on so much. Looking after everyones needs, being all to everyone & so often forgetting about ourselves. We ignore the signs of tiredness, little signs from our body that all is not well. We charge ahead until we reach crisis point.. & even then, we keep quiet & just get on with it, because we have to.

As we move into our years of full bloom, we think that not keeping up the pace we had in our budding Spring years is somehow a loss or a fault.

But realising that loving yourself & your body is the biggest gift we can bestow on our life is something which often eludes us. Finding ways of living which are a little slower, a little calmer & more centred around what we need, not what we think we should be doing are a blessing not a loss.It’s not about ‘not being able to’, it’s about using other skills, strengths & the wisdom we have learnt over the years to live a full & joyful life which fulfils us, but also keeps us well.

'Consciousness' means tuning in & being aware of what we really need to flourish. Doing less can create more fulfilment. We don't even need to 'not do' things. We just need to do them in a more conscious way, pacing ourselves, prioritising & realising that caring for our health is vital if we are going to keep playing our vital role on others lives.

so, just stop. take a break. Be silent for a moment & tune in to what your mind & body truly needs. Scan every part of you & notice whether little pains are just a bit of tiredness or a harbinger of something more serious.

Start to care & look after yourself, because you deserve it. Give to yourself as much as you give to others. that way balance can be found & we can be around for our loved ones for a lot longer!